Gay sex toys are simply sex toys that suit the bodies and the play of men who have sex with men: prostate massagers, butt plugs, dildos, cock rings, strokers and vibrators. Nothing about the silicone is gay. What changes is the anatomy you are shopping for and the way you share play with a partner. This guide explains each type, what gay and bisexual men actually use according to a large survey, how to pick your first one, and how to keep anal play safe and comfortable.
In this guide
- What counts as a gay sex toy
- What gay and bisexual men use
- Each type explained
- How to choose your first one
- Toys for gay couples
- Lube, cleaning and safety
- Six we stock
- FAQ
What counts as a gay sex toy?
Any toy you enjoy counts, and no label is needed. A butt plug, a dildo or a prostate massager works the same way for every body that has a prostate and a rectum.
What makes a toy a good fit for gay men is its design. Anal toys need a flared base so they cannot slip inside. Prostate massagers need a forward curve. Rings need to stretch or open so they fit safely. Shopping by those features gets you further than shopping by a label.
The same goes for sex toys for gay men in a couple. Most men buy gear they can use alone and share with a partner, so washable, non-porous materials matter more than any marketing.
What do gay and bisexual men actually use?
Most of them use something. A 2012 study in Archives of Sexual Behavior surveyed 25,294 gay and bisexual men in the United States, and 78.5% said they had used at least one sex toy. The researchers, led by Joshua Rosenberger, concluded that "sex toy use is common among gay and bisexual men during both solo and partnered sexual activities" (Rosenberger et al., 2012).
The survey also broke reported use down by type:
| Type | Reported use | What it does | Good first choice? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Dildo | 62.1% | Penetration, solo or with a partner | Yes, in a small size |
| Cock ring (non-vibrating) | 51.9% | Holds blood in the erection; firmer, longer feel | Yes, a stretchy silicone one |
| Vibrator | 49.6% | Buzz for the penis, perineum or anus | Yes |
| Butt plug | 34.0% | Fullness you can wear; anal training | Yes, the classic starter |
| Masturbation sleeve | 27.9% | Textured grip for the penis | Yes |
| Anal beads or balls | 19.3% | Graduated stretch, felt on the way out | After a plug |
A separate paper from the same research team found that 49.8% of the men had used a vibrator at some point, and 26.8% had bought one (Indiana University, 2010). The takeaway is simple: if you are curious, you are in very large company.
Gay sex toys, type by type
Each type below solves a different job. Read them as a menu, not a shopping list.
Prostate massagers
A prostate massager is a curved anal toy that presses on the prostate, often called the P-spot. Mayo Clinic describes the gland as "about the size of a walnut" and says it "sits just below the bladder in people assigned male at birth." It lies a few centimetres inside, toward the belly button, so these toys curve forward rather than going deep. Hands-free models rock as your muscles tighten and relax. Vibrating ones add a motor. Our prostate massager how-to walks through a first session step by step.
Butt plugs and anal training
A butt plug has a tapered tip, a narrow neck and a wide flared base. The neck lets your muscles close around it, so it stays put while you move, and the base keeps it from slipping inside. Plugs are the usual first anal pick because you can go slowly, wear one during other play and size up over weeks. Our guide to anal toys for beginners covers sizes and shapes in detail.
Dildos
A dildo is the most used item in the survey above. For anal use, pick one with a flared base or suction cup, and start narrower than you think you need. Smooth, firm silicone is easier to clean and to insert than soft, jelly-like materials. A suction-cup base also frees your hands for solo play in the shower.
Cock rings
A cock ring sits at the base of the penis, or behind the testicles, and slows blood leaving the erection. Many men like the firmer feel and the added sensitivity. Stretchy silicone is the safest start, because you can roll it off quickly. WebMD advises: "Because cock rings restrict blood flow, it's important not to wear one for longer than 30 minutes." Vibrating rings add a small motor that can also buzz against a partner. See our cock ring how-to for fitting tips.
Strokers and sleeves
A stroker is a soft sleeve with a textured inside, made for the penis. They range from small, low-cost eggs to automatic models with motors. They are great for solo play and for a partner to use on you. Our male masturbator guide compares the ones we carry.
Vibrators
A vibrator for men is usually a wand, a bullet or a vibrating attachment. Men use them on the head of the penis, the perineum and around the anus. A wand gives deep, broad vibration, while a bullet is small enough to hold against one exact spot.
How do I choose my first gay sex toy?
Start with the sensation you are curious about, then check four features before you buy.
- Pick one goal. Fullness points to a plug. P-spot pressure points to a prostate massager. A stronger erection points to a ring. Grip and texture point to a stroker.
- Check the material. Choose body-safe silicone, glass or stainless steel. These are non-porous, so they wash clean.
- Check the base. Anything that goes in the anus needs a flared base, a handle or a ring you can hold. This rule has no exceptions.
- Start small. Your first anal item should be narrower than you expect. You can always size up later.
- Think about cleaning and charging. Waterproof, rechargeable gear is easier to live with than battery models with seams.
If you only buy one item today, make it a small silicone plug and a bottle of water-based lube. That pairing teaches you more about what you like than any single expensive gadget.
What are good sex toys for gay couples?
The best choices for two men are ones you can both use or pass back and forth. Think of a vibrating ring, a remote-controlled prostate massager, a plug worn during other play, or a stroker one partner uses on the other. The same survey found toys were common in partnered sex as well as solo play, so sharing is normal.
Talk first. Agree what you want to try, what is off the table and a simple word that means stop. Then keep a towel, wipes, lube and a fresh condom within reach so nobody has to leave the bed.
App-controlled massagers suit couples who spend time apart. One partner wears the massager and the other controls the vibration through the app, across the room or across the country. Our prostate massager comparison covers the app models we carry.
How do I use gay sex toys safely?
Use lots of lube, choose a flared base, clean every item after each use and keep shared toys covered or washed between partners. Those four habits prevent most problems.
Lube. The anus does not make its own lubrication. Planned Parenthood says: "If you're using a sex toy in your anus, make sure you use lots of lube." It adds that "Water-based lube is a safe bet to use with any sex toy (and any condom)." Silicone lube lasts longer, but it can damage silicone toys unless you cover them with a condom.
Go slowly. Breathe out as you insert, and stop if you feel sharp pain. Mild pressure is normal. Pain is a signal to pause, add lube or try a smaller size. Cleveland Clinic advises you to "Start gradually and move your way up to what you're comfortable with," and to stop if pain increases or stays.
Sharing. Planned Parenthood warns that "Sharing sex toys with other people can spread STDs." Wash a toy before it touches another person, or put a new condom on it for each partner. Never move a toy from the anus to a mouth or a vagina without washing it or changing the condom first.
Cleaning. Wash with mild soap and warm water, or a toy cleaner, then dry fully before storing. Porous materials can trap germs even after washing, which is one more reason to buy non-porous silicone. Our toy cleaning guide has steps for every material.
Cock rings. Start with about five minutes and stay under 30, as WebMD advises. Take the ring off right away if you feel pain or your penis feels cold.
Frequently asked questions
What are the most popular gay sex toys?
In a 2012 survey of 25,294 gay and bisexual men, the most used items were dildos (62.1%), non-vibrating cock rings (51.9%) and vibrators (49.6%), followed by butt plugs (34.0%) and masturbation sleeves (27.9%).
What is a good first sex toy for a gay man?
A small body-safe silicone butt plug with a flared base is the usual first choice, used with plenty of water-based lube. A stretchy silicone cock ring is an easy, low-cost alternative if you are not ready for anal play.
Do I need a toy made for gay men?
No. Toys are not gendered. Choose by design instead: a flared base for anything anal, a forward curve for the prostate, and a stretchy or adjustable fit for rings.
What lube should I use with anal toys?
Use plenty of it. Water-based lube is safe with any toy and any condom. Silicone lube lasts longer but can damage silicone toys unless the toy is covered with a condom.
Can partners share sex toys?
Yes, with care. Sharing toys can spread STIs, so wash a toy with mild soap and water before it touches another person, or put a new condom on it for each partner.
How long can I wear a cock ring?
WebMD advises no longer than 30 minutes, starting with about 5 minutes. Take it off right away if you feel pain or your penis starts to feel cold.
What should a beginner avoid?
Avoid anything for anal use without a flared base or handle, toys that are too big for a first try, and porous materials that are hard to clean. Avoid silicone lube on silicone toys unless you use a condom.
Our picks, with today's prices
Free standard shipping on orders $150+ CAD · Discreet packaging
Free standard shipping on orders $150+ CAD · Discreet packaging
A plain, unbranded box. No logo, no brand name, and no description of the contents anywhere on the outside — just the courier's address label.
Charges appear as SP RP Chhokra Inc.“Red Pleasures” never appears on your bank or credit card statement.
