A strap on lets one partner penetrate another hands-free, and the strapless version does it with no harness at all: a short, bulbed end sits inside the wearer's vagina, held by the pelvic floor, while the external shaft does the work. It looks intuitive on the box, yet first attempts often end with the toy slipping free at exactly the wrong moment. This Red Pleasures guide explains how a strapless strap-on actually stays in, how to build the muscle control it depends on, and the positions, lube and care that make it feel effortless. It also compares every other type, from harness sets to hollow designs for men, so you can tell whether strapless is the right first strap on sex toy for you.
In this guide
- Types compared
- How a strapless model works
- Staying in place
- Step 1: prepare
- Step 2: insert the bulb
- Step 3: move from the hips
- Best positions
- If it slips out
- How to choose
- Hollow designs for men
- Vibrating models
- Lube
- Cleaning and sharing
- FAQ
What types of strap ons are there?
There are six main forms, and they differ in who holds the toy up: a harness, the wearer's own muscles, or the wearer's penis. The table sorts them by that one question, because it decides how much practice the toy needs and who it suits.
| Type | What holds it | Best for | Practice needed | Typical price (CAD) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Harness and dildo (strap style) | Adjustable waist and leg straps with an O-ring | First-timers, pegging, swapping dildos over time | Low | $60 to $150 for both parts |
| Brief or boxer harness | Fitted underwear with a built-in ring | Comfort, longer sessions, no exposed straps | Low | $50 to $120 plus the dildo |
| Strapless model | The wearer's pelvic floor, gripping an internal bulb | Skin contact and shared sensation | Medium to high | $60 to $200 |
| Hollow design (for men) | A strap or harness, with the penis inside the hollow shaft | Erection difficulties, extra length or girth | Low | $50 to $120 |
| Vibrating version | Any of the above, with a motor in the shaft or bulb | Sensation for the wearer as well as the receiver | As the base type | $90 to $250 |
| Thigh or double harness | A thigh strap, or a harness holding two dildos | Riding positions; penetrating both partners | Low to medium | $40 to $150 |
If a harness is the part you want to understand, our strap-on harness guide covers styles, fit and O-ring sizing in centimetres. The rest of this page is about the harness-free option and how to make it work.
What is a strapless strap-on and how does it work?
This toy, also sold as a strapless dildo or double-ended dildo, is a single toy with two ends. A short, rounded bulb sits inside the wearer, and a longer shaft penetrates a partner. Nothing buckles around the hips. Retention comes entirely from the pelvic floor gripping the bulb.
That design is the whole appeal. Skin stays against skin, the wearer feels every movement through the internal end, and many models press against the wearer's clitoris at the base, so sensation runs both ways. Most are made from a firm or semi-flexible body-safe silicone. Some versions add a motor to one or both ends, which is covered below.
Does a strapless strap-on really stay in place?
Yes, but only as well as your pelvic floor can grip it, and that grip is trainable. The Mayo Clinic explains that "Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. These muscles support the uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum." Its advice is to "aim to do at least three sets a day" and "work up to doing 10 to 15 Kegels in each set." To find the right muscles, it suggests you "squeeze the muscles you use to stop urination in midstream."
A few weeks of that routine noticeably improves how long you can hold the bulb during movement. For structured training, our kegel exercises and kegel balls guide walks through technique and progression. Practising with the toy solo, wearing it while walking around a room, teaches you what a secure grip feels like before a partner is involved.
Step 1: Prepare, warm up, lube
Start with a freshly washed toy, warm hands, and no time pressure. Arousal genuinely matters here. Natural lubrication and relaxed muscles make the bulb easier to seat and more comfortable to hold, so treat insertion as something that happens mid-encounter rather than at the front door.
Apply a thin layer of water-based lube to the bulb only, enough for comfort, not so much that it swims. The receiving partner's side is the opposite: be generous there, and reapply as you go.
Step 2: Insert and seat the bulb
Angle the bulb toward the small of your back and insert it the way you would a tampon or menstrual cup. Many wearers find a squat, or one foot raised on the bed, easiest. Once it is in, squeeze your pelvic floor and let go a few times to feel it seat against the pubic bone. The external shaft should sit roughly where a harness would hold it, angled slightly upward.
Stand, walk a few steps, and give a gentle tug on the shaft. If it holds through that, you are ready. If not, adjust the angle rather than pushing it deeper.
Step 3: Move from the hips
Rock and grind rather than piston. Long, fast strokes are what dislodge the bulb, because each outstroke pulls directly against your grip. Short rolling movements from the hips keep pressure on the bulb constant, and they are usually more comfortable for the receiving partner anyway.
Keep a light squeeze through each movement, and use a free hand at the base of the shaft for guidance whenever you change rhythm. Communicate out loud early on; small angle changes make large comfort differences on both ends.
Which positions work best with a strapless model?
Positions that keep the toy supported between two bodies work best. Missionary with the receiving partner's hips raised on a pillow, spooning, and slow riding with the wearer lying back all let gravity help rather than fight you.
Standing or kneeling rear entry is the hardest to sustain, because the long free stroke and downward pull work against the bulb. Save it for when your grip is well practised. As a rule, the more of the shaft's length that stays inside the receiving partner between movements, the easier the toy is to keep in place.
What should you do if it keeps slipping out?
Slipping is a technique-and-fit problem, not a verdict on you. Run through these in order:
- Use less lube on the bulb side.
- Shorten your stroke and slow down.
- Re-seat the bulb at a slightly different angle.
- Commit to daily Kegels for two to three weeks.
- If the shaft is long or heavy, consider that a smaller model simply asks less of your grip.
Finally, there is no rule against backup. Wearing a standard harness over the toy keeps the internal sensation while the harness carries the load, which is exactly how many couples use them for longer sessions.
How do you choose the best strap on for you?
Choose by who needs to do the holding, then by who will be receiving. The rule we give customers: buy the first one for the receiver's comfort and the wearer's confidence, in that order.
- You want stability on night one: a harness and a modest flared-base dildo. Nothing to train, and you can change the dildo later.
- You want the wearer to feel as much as the receiver: a strapless model, with a few weeks of Kegels first, or a vibrating model so the bulb does some of the work.
- The wearer has a penis and erections are unreliable: a hollow design, sized close to the wearer's own body so the extra length stays modest.
- You are buying for pegging or anal play: a slimmer, curved dildo with a generous flare, in a harness. Our pegging for beginners guide covers pace and prep.
- Either of you is new to penetration: start small. An insertable length of 12 to 15 cm and a girth you can close a hand around is plenty, and you can size up later.
Material matters more than brand. Body-safe silicone is non-porous, can be boiled, and flexes enough to be comfortable for the receiver. Our types of dildos guide explains materials and shapes if you are pairing a harness with a dildo.
What is a strap on for men, and when does a hollow design help?
For men this usually means a hollow design: a shaft worn over the penis and held by a strap or harness, so penetration can continue whether or not an erection holds. Some couples also use one for extra length or girth, or to keep going after the wearer has finished. Any body can wear an ordinary harness too, and many men wear one for double penetration with a partner.
Three fit notes apply to hollow models. Length worn over the body counts in full, so start modest. The strap should hold the base flat against the pubic bone without pinching. And lube goes inside the hollow as well as outside, because the shaft moves against the wearer's skin. If erection changes are new or worrying, that is a conversation with a doctor rather than a toy problem.
Are vibrating models worth it?
A vibrating strap on adds a motor to the shaft, the bulb, or both, and it earns its price in two cases. For the wearer of a strapless model, a vibrating bulb adds sensation and makes a steady squeeze feel less like effort. For the receiving partner, a motor in the shaft adds the buzz that a plain dildo cannot. Most models are rechargeable and app or remote controlled, which lets the receiver adjust intensity without breaking position.
Two trade-offs are worth knowing. A motor makes the toy heavier, which asks more of the wearer's grip on a strapless design. And a vibrating toy cannot be boiled, so cleaning is soap and water only, with the charging port kept dry.
Which lube should you use?
Water-based lube is the safe default, because most of these toys are silicone and silicone lube can ruin them. Planned Parenthood puts it plainly: "Don't use silicone lube with silicone sex toys (unless you put condoms on them)". For the strapless design, remember the split: generous on the shaft, sparing on the bulb. If you are unsure how the two families compare for feel and longevity, our silicone vs water-based lube guide covers the trade-offs in detail.
Cleaning, sharing, and safer sex
Wash both ends with mild soap and warm water after every session. Planned Parenthood's baseline is to "wash your sex toys with mild soap and water after you use them, and before they touch another person's genitals." If the toy moves between partners, or between anal and vaginal use, condoms are the simple answer: "Putting condoms on sex toys can help keep them clean and prevent the spread of STDs."
Solid silicone with no motor can be boiled now and then to sanitize it. Air-dry fully and store it away from other silicone toys. Our how to clean sex toys guide covers materials and sanitizing step by step.
From the Red Pleasures shop (checked 23 October 2026): we are an Ottawa-based online store and we do not currently have a strapless model in stock, so this guide applies to any model you buy, wherever you buy it. If you want guaranteed stability, or a hollow design, we stock the harness-based Dr. Skin 6" Hollow Strap On with Harness ($56.15 CAD), which can be worn with or without an erection. Everything ships with discreet shipping across Canada and the USA.
FAQ
What is a strapless strap-on?
It is a double-ended toy with no harness. The wearer holds a short, rounded bulb inside the vagina using their pelvic floor muscles, while the longer external shaft penetrates a partner. Because there are no straps, both partners feel more skin contact and shared movement.
How is a strapless strap-on different from a regular strap on?
A regular one anchors a dildo to the wearer's hips with a harness, so it stays put with no muscle effort. The strapless design relies on the wearer's internal grip instead. That means more shared sensation and less hardware, but it takes practice and pelvic floor strength to control.
Do strapless models actually stay in place?
They stay in as well as the wearer's pelvic floor can grip the bulb. Slow, grinding movement in supported positions is easy to sustain; fast, deep thrusting is much harder. Regular Kegel training and practising solo before partnered sex both make a noticeable difference.
Can you use a strapless strap-on with a harness?
Yes. Many people wear a standard harness over one so the harness carries the load while the internal bulb still provides sensation for the wearer. It is a practical middle ground if the toy keeps slipping or you want longer, more vigorous sessions.
What is the best strap on for beginners?
A harness with a modest flared-base silicone dildo, around 12 to 15 cm insertable. It needs no training, it holds still on night one, and you can swap the dildo as confidence grows. A strapless model is a good second purchase once the wearer has a few weeks of Kegels behind them.
Can men use a strap on?
Yes. A hollow design is worn over the penis and keeps penetration going whether or not an erection holds. Any man can also wear a standard harness, which some couples use for double penetration. Fit the strap so the base sits flat against the pubic bone, and keep the extra length modest.
What lube should you use with a strapless strap-on?
Use water-based lube. Most strapless models are made of silicone, and silicone lube can react with and damage solid silicone toys, according to Planned Parenthood. Apply lube generously on the external shaft, but sparingly on the bulb, because too much there weakens your grip.
How do you clean a strapless model?
Wash it with mild, unscented soap and warm water after every use, cleaning both ends and the seam between them, then let it air-dry fully before storing. Planned Parenthood recommends washing toys after use and before they touch another person's genitals. Solid silicone with no motor can also be boiled occasionally.
Are vibrating models better?
They are better for sensation, not for stability. A motor in the bulb helps the wearer of a strapless model feel more and squeeze less, and a motor in the shaft adds buzz for the receiver. The toy is heavier and cannot be boiled, so it suits couples who have already mastered the basics.
Can you use the strapless design for anal sex?
The external shaft can be used for anal penetration with plenty of lube and a slow pace, but the bulb end is not designed for anal wear. It lacks the flared base that keeps anal toys from slipping inside. Keep the bulb vaginal and follow standard anal-safety practice.
Shop the full collection: Couples sex toys at Red Pleasures and harness-compatible dildos
Related guides: Harness guide: types, fit and O-rings · Pegging for beginners · Kegel exercises and kegel balls · Silicone vs water-based lube · Anal play safety guide
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