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Offensive Holiday Crayons - 24 Assorted Colors – Wood Rocket LLC
Available in stock (28)
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Estimated delivery: Jul 15 - Jul 19
Unlock an extra 20% off when you spend $119+
Unleash your inner Grinch and add a touch of dark humor to your holiday art projects with the Offensive Holiday Crayons. Perfect for capturing the true spirit of the season – the awkward family dinners, the forced smiles, and the existential dread – these crayons offer a unique palette for your most cynical creations.
This set from Wood Rocket LLC delivers 24 assorted colors, providing a spectrum of shades to perfectly match your holiday blues. Forget generic gifts; these crayons are a memorable, albeit unconventional, present that’s sure to get a reaction.
- Unique Palette: Colors designed to reflect the less-than-jolly aspects of the holidays.
- Assorted Colors: A collection of 24 shades for diverse artistic expression.
- Humorous Gift: A quirky and memorable present for those who appreciate dark humor.
Who it's for: Anyone who finds the holiday season a bit much and enjoys a good laugh. Ideal for artists with a sarcastic streak.
Quick Specs:
- 24 Assorted Color(s)
- Approximately 22-23 different colors
Trust & CTA:
Add a dose of irreverent fun to your holiday season. Shop the Offensive Holiday Crayons now and make your art as delightfully dreadful as the holidays themselves.
About Red Pleasures
About Red Pleasures
Red Pleasures is an Ottawa-based sexual wellness store built for privacy, comfort, and confidence. We curate body-safe products and keep everything discreet—from browsing to delivery.
We also donate 10% of sales to support women impacted by sexual exploitation, because pleasure should always be rooted in safety and dignity.
Shipping & Returns
Shipping & Returns
Discreet shipping: Orders ship in plain, unmarked packaging so nothing on the outside reveals what’s inside.
Processing & delivery:
- Orders typically ship next business day.
- Ottawa/local deliveries usually arrive in 1–2 days (when available).
- Exact rates and delivery estimates show at checkout.
Returns:
Because these are intimate products, we only accept returns on unopened/unused items in original packaging. Opened items are typically not returnable for hygiene reasons.
Your payment information is processed securely. We do not store credit card details nor have access to your credit card information.
Discover more in our FAQ
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Is my order shipped discreetly?
Is my order shipped discreetly?
Yes. We ship in plain, unmarked packaging so it looks like a normal delivery and doesn’t reveal what’s inside.
What lube should I use with this?
What lube should I use with this?
In general, water-based lube is the safest all-around option (and is commonly recommended for silicone toys). If your toy is silicone, avoid silicone lube unless the manufacturer says it’s compatible.
How do I clean and care for it?
How do I clean and care for it?
Wash your toy after every use (and before sharing) using mild soap + warm water, then dry fully. Always follow the care instructions that come with the toy—especially for motorized or water-resistant products.
Can I share this with a partner?
Can I share this with a partner?
You can, but treat it like a personal item: clean between users and consider using a fresh condom over the toy when sharing to reduce infection risk.
Is it waterproof?
Is it waterproof?
Check the product details. If it says waterproof, you can rinse it more easily—if it says water-resistant, avoid submerging it. When in doubt, follow the manufacturer instructions.
What’s your return policy on intimate items?
What’s your return policy on intimate items?
For hygiene reasons, opened/used intimate items usually can’t be returned. If an item is sealed and unused, it may be eligible (policy rules apply). If something arrives defective, contact us—we’ll help you with the next steps.
Do you offer rewards or extra discounts?
Do you offer rewards or extra discounts?
Yes—Red Pleasures offers Red Rewards and seasonal cart bonuses. If there’s an active promo, it will show on the product page or at checkout.
